No... Don't be a "Generous" Lover...

Nude beach season has finally arrived and of course Im ecstatic and have already been having an absolutely incredible start to the Summer season of nude fun. I recently had a great time enjoying some back-country skinny dipping and nude sunbathing with friends. The weather was warm and sunny and it felt so glorious to be naked outside. And, as sometimes can happen on these sorts of outings, when the sun is shining and the feeling is one of freedom, there was one friend in particular whose penis ended-up in my mouth. How one earth did THAT happen??? :-D I wont go into the story of HOW it did, but it was lotsa fun, and what I want to say about it is I cant honestly remember the last time I so abundantly and thoroughly relished the feeling of giving a blow job. It felt absolutely incredible. I was so horny, he looked fantastic, his cock looked yummy, his erection was powerful and beautiful, and everything about it was just pure, whimsical FUN. It was something wonderful and spontaneous. Like, Id been having fun gawking at his beautiful dick all day long, so why on earth would I NOT want it in my mouth? I realized early on that there was something kinda special going-on that there was a sort of synergy happening and that it was resulting in an absolutely amazing blow job experience for both of us. And sure enough, I made him cum just from blowing him. He didnt have to masturbate to finish or anything. He just let me know that I was going to make him cum, so I asked him to let me know when it was imminent and then please finish on my titties which he did, and it was so wonderful. What a fantastic and perfect way to enjoy an amazing nude day. Later, to my endless delight, my friend let me know that the blow job Id given him was by far the best hed ever had. I was blown away (no pun intended) and thrilled to hear that. It was really special and endearing to me, and it made me feel fantastic to know that Id provided such a moment of pleasure to another human being. A truly memorable highlight. From that, the main point I want to put across, here, is that I have no special talent or secret technique or anything of the sort, for giving fantastic blow jobs. Or, for that matter, having great sex. I have no inside information, and the ins and outs of the orgasm are still as much a mystery to me as anyone. I love sex and being slutty, but that doesnt make me some sort of expert, just by virtue of it. And I think when it comes to sexuality, the whole practice makes perfect rule doesnt apply so much. So let me dive in here, a bit, and talk about my theory on the one thing which in my experience and humble opinion really makes the difference between great and just okay sex. Particularly when it comes to going down on someone, I hear so many people express the sentiment of being a giver or being generous in that respect. And I can tell you very definitively that this is absolutely NOT my approach, at all. If I give a blow job it isnt because I think it is what a guy wants, and neither am I attempting to calculate when or how long, or by what technique I should do it. In fact, I am not thinking about HIS needs AT ALL. No. When I give a blow job, I do it exclusively for ME. I adore the feeling of a big, beautiful, warm, rock hard penis in my mouth. So when I do it, its never because I am feeling as if thats the next step to take, etc. its never procedural in that respect, and its never about trying to intellectually figure-out whats going to improve the quality of the sexual moment that I or my partner are experiencing. I think, in fact, that any attempt to try to figure it out is the surest way to dissipate natural chemistry and lose the moment. So my best advice for deeply pleasing someone, sexually, is exactly the opposite of those who would say to be generous. Instead: be selfish! Do what feels amazing to you, and what feels totally natural in the moment. If I have a mans dick in my mouth, Im certainly glad if he is enjoying whats happening, but Im doing it for me. Im doing it because I like it, and Im doing it in a way that connects with my inner sensual desires. Specifically as that applies to blow jobs, what that means for me is I very rarely do that thing which I think gets stereotypically categorized as a good blow job: aggressively SUCKing, and going hard and fast, as if fucking a guy with my mouth. I dont do that. Or, at least, I dont do it all the time or as my main technique. Instead, I do what feels really wonderful to me, which is to go fairly gentle and easy, allowing my lips and the inside of my mouth & tongue to fully surround and embrace the penis with warm, juicy goodness. I use my mouth to play with a cock, in the same way I might enjoy doing so with my hands. Its an exploration, for me, taking the time to relish every single detail about the shape of an amazing erection. And oh my how wonderful if I can receive a guys cock into my mouth before hes fully aroused and then feel him get hard while Im enjoying him. Perhaps a much better way to say it is to simply RELAX. Dont get so caught-up in the mechanics of what is happening, when engaging sexually with someone either for the first time or 100th time. Remember that the whole point is to enjoy yourself and feel great. So: LET yourself feel great. Let everything you do, sexually, be natural and honest. If it doesnt feel good for you to go down on someone, then dont! You dont need to explain yourself or feel as if youve left something out. Leave time to relish the really simple things, also. It can become so easy to get into a mode whereby there is way too much fixation on rushing toward orgasm. I think that people often start forgetting just how pleasurable the whole PROCESS of sexual engagement is. They start skipping over or ignoring the fun little details and the mystery which makes sexuality so much fun. And this is one of the foundational reasons why I love nudity so much. Being able to thoroughly enjoy the simple pleasure of being naked is, to me, a bedrock fundamental aspect of being in touch with your sexuality and having the capacity to dive deeply into having phenomenal sex. Nudity is beautiful thing, and something that we are simply wired to enjoy. I wont dive too deeply into the whole thing about nudism purportedly being non sexual, except to say that I think the traditional nudists who advocate for the total absence of sexuality from social nudity are vastly missing the point. By trying to exclude it, they make the sexual aspect even more awkward, creepy, crass, and anxiety inducing. It feels amazing to be naked, and theres no part of feeling amazing that should be held apart from that delightful connection to sensuality and sexuality. Yes, there is a natural erotic allure of naked bodies. But part of the whole concept Im trying to put across, here, is that feeling that wonderful, inviting sense of mild erotica doesnt mean its suddenly time to obsessively go rushing toward overt sexualization of every single thing going-on. No. Its about taking time time to connect with oneself and feel balanced. To actually nurture a healthy and integral sense of sexuality. For me, the gentle sexual pleasure of being nude is often more than enough, in and of itself. There are so many times where I really dont specifically need anything beyond that, because my sexuality feels so perfectly integrated, as a whole, with my being. And, IMO, that is such a great place from which to understand oneself and be able to know what you want. Id encourage everyone to come back to this state of simplicity and reflection and again approach sex purely from the standpoint of what you, yourself, need and want. By being selfish, you will give your lover the optimal experience that they can have, also.