why are my same sex fantasies usu submissive?

why am i usually submissive in my same sex fantasies & often very submissive? totally not into the idea of humiliation or excessive pain. but like the guy being in control of me. tying me up so i can't move or resist his moves, or to make it easier for him to do certain things to me. blindfolding me so i don't see what he's about to do, cutting off 1 of my senses & the ability to judge things around me. gagging me so i loose my main way of expressing myself to him, silencing my voice. so my voice doesn't matter. being on the receiving end of him letting out his sexual frustrations, exhausting me & leaving me drained. having some of his friends watch so other people know about my submission & vulnerability. him inviting those friends to enjoy me too. him making it clear to me he's in control of me & i'm choosing to give that control to him. him testing the limits of that control, challenging me. why does this all appeal to me? now that i think about it there's a little bit more to the question. how much of this fantasy am i willing & meant to try in real life? i know it's a tough question & i definately don't expect an answer. it's something i have to workout myself. but insites are definately appreciated :)