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JA
James

Sex and Sexuality

AITAH (am I the asshole)

Posted Sep 7, 2020

Replies8
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JA
James
JamesOriginal Poster
Sep 7, 2020

So I get this message from a user unsolicited:

"Hey.. I guess your dick is ok...its kind of Grower type..which when getting hard..us big and like a rock..lol.. Its OK man..enjoy it"

I waited to respond and did so politely but firmly indicated that I wasn't seeking validation or an appraisal. That produced a torrent of abuse and the assertion that I was taking his general comment about cocks specifically.

I mean he said "your dick"... general? I want to know am I the asshole?

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Replies

  • SN
    snooplum
    snooplum
    Sep 7, 2020

    No you are not

    ReactReply
  • CH
    ChicagoBator
    ChicagoBator
    Sep 7, 2020

    No, you're not. However, I'd just block him. He's not worth the time.

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  • MA
    Matt
    Matt
    Sep 7, 2020

    Not the asshole. Unsolicited opinions can be tricky since the sexual aspect is what makes True Swingers different from True Nudists. For me, I don't have a problem if someone wants to message me positivity of some kind on here, whether it's "nice smile" or "gorgeous hard tasty looking cock." (And those are real messages I've gotten. Some people can still be nice!) I can't tell if you'd feel the same way about unsolicited compliments but insults without consent are 100% over the line. You didn't clearly communicate to this guy that you're comfortable with that so it's definitely harassment and arguably worse. (No need to try to gauge the honesty or seriousness of his claim he was speaking generally because it's obviously an after-the-fact lie to try to cover his bad behavior once you called him out on it.) I don't see any gray area but even if there were, firing off "a torrent of abuse" still has him completely in the wrong. You could report him or block him or both. You could keep trying to get him to understand. You could do nothing at all if you think it's the best approach. NTA.

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  • SU
    surfguyxxx
    surfguyxxx
    Sep 8, 2020

    You certainly are not my friend.

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  • JA
    James
    JamesOriginal Poster
    Sep 14, 2020
    [quote]No, you're not. However, I'd just block him. He's not worth the time.[/quote] Oh he blocked me after sending his meltdown.
    ReactReply
  • JA
    James
    JamesOriginal Poster
    Sep 14, 2020
    [quote]Not the asshole. Unsolicited opinions can be tricky since the sexual aspect is what makes True Swingers different from True Nudists. For me, I don't have a problem if someone wants to message me positivity of some kind on here, whether it's "nice smile" or "gorgeous hard tasty looking cock." (And those are real messages I've gotten. Some people can still be nice!) I can't tell if you'd feel the same way about unsolicited compliments but insults without consent are 100% over the line. You didn't clearly communicate to this guy that you're comfortable with that so it's definitely harassment and arguably worse. (No need to try to gauge the honesty or seriousness of his claim he was speaking generally because it's obviously an after-the-fact lie to try to cover his bad behavior once you called him out on it.) I don't see any gray area but even if there were, firing off "a torrent of abuse" still has him completely in the wrong. You could report him or block him or both. You could keep trying to get him to understand. You could do nothing at all if you think it's the best approach. NTA.[/quote] I love to get nice messages from people here. They have all been nice until this one. If I post something in a forum, it's because I have closed the file. I appreciate your suggestions they are helpful for anyone who has a similar issue and who wishes to try resolving it. This one was a surprise. And he preemptively blocked me after sending his operatic diva dirge. The reporting for minor assholishness is not my style. The lie is rather shocking. I guess he assumes that his interlocutors are idiots.
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  • CH
    ChicagoBator
    ChicagoBator
    Sep 14, 2020
    [quote]No, you're not. However, I'd just block him. He's not worth the time. Oh he blocked me after sending his meltdown.[/quote] Ha! All the better!
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  • JO
    joriemen
    Jul 26, 2022
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